TRUE INTIMACY:

“Cupid is a symbolic creature that represents the ontological reality of a higher order of existence. The unique imagery displayed in the Cupid figure was the creation of an ancient people with special spiritual wisdom. To be struck in the heart by Cupid’s arrow did more than lead to worldly romance. It represented a transformation of the heart from natural to spiritual love.” 

The word intimacy means inner most.

The higher order of existence is the mind, the home of true intimacy.

This musing on intimacy comes with a warning: it may ruin all your notions about romantic love and intimacy. But I thought I would give it a go, since so many of us have reached a point of looking beyond the body for intimacy. We first have to realize we are miserable in our relationships before we can be earnest in looking in another direction. Congratulate yourself if you have reached that point, for you have come a long way and have bruised yourself considerably. You are at the perfect place to learn another way to be in relationships, including your most special ones.

The first thing you need to know about this other way is that intimacy includes everyone. From the perspective of the ego this is a horrifying thought because its need to be special is terribly threatened.

It also helps to know that there is only one kind of love and that is God’s. His love is the only love there is. There are not different kinds of love, one kind for our children, one for animals, another for lovers, and yet another for parents. God’s love is the same and shared equally with everyone. So any ideas we have about different kinds of love must come from our special needs and our need to be special.

True intimacy has no needs. It is our special needs that keep us from seeing our brothers as they are in which case every relationship would be maximally fullfilling without competing with any other relationship. Our needs distort our perception of our brothers, seeing them as a means of satifying our special needs and ultimately our most important need to witness to our non-existent individuality. This is the ego’s version of a relationship. In sacrificing another to satify our special needs the relationship is bound to be very unsatisfying.

There is a way of seeing our special relationships through different eyes that help us learn that we have no needs. For that we will need a teacher, in this case Jesus, who suggests that we “resign as our own teacher, for we have been badly taught”. We do not know the way to God’s Love. After we decide to change the purpose of our relatinships we should take his hand and begin to establish our first intimate and out-of-time relationship.

Intimacy is of the mind. Please be advised that we are not talking about the brain. The brain is part of the physiology of the body. The thoughts it thinks it thinks are not real thoughts. Intimacy cannot be experienced between two bodies, as much as we have tried to convince ourselves that it can. Establishing a relationship with Jesus plays a very important part in learning that only a relationship without sacrifice can be intimate.

While our relationships are all the same in purpose at the mind level, they are not all the same in form or behavior. We do different things with different folks. The difference is the the the Holy Spirit’s purpose is the same for all of them.

Valentine’s Day, when we celebrate love and romance, will soon be here, and that’s a wonderful thing to enjoy. Nothing is taken away from us and romance is lovely when there is no sacrifice of anyone to our needs. The day before, on February 13, 2016, School for A Course in Miracles is offering a full day workshop on True Intimacy: love without needs. If you are interested in learning another way to be in all your relationships we hope you will join us.

by Lyn Corona